When we are in a conflict we tend to react very differently. This all depends on the personality and what kind of conflict it is. Also,  you might not react the same with a boss as you would a friend, or maybe you were very hungry one day and the mood was not the best.

In this little blog post, I will take a look at the five different conflict styles.

 1) Accommodating

If you have the ‘Accommodating‘  style you tend to give easily into other peoples point of view. Basically this style means that you will lose in a situation, which can sometimes be ok. We do not need to ‘win’ all the battles. If a friend wants to watch a different movie then you, and you are fine with that it does not have to be a bad. However, you should be a little careful with this style because having this response can make your feelings get ignored in the long run. You might seem happy on the outside, but not on the inside.

2) Withdrawal

As the name implies you withdraw from conflicts when they arise. Most of the times you have the “naah, it will blow over eventually, lets not bring it up” response. This is maybe ok for a little while, and maybe you even have good experiences keeping to this style. However, many times I would say this is the most dangerous response because a conflict can be like cancer, slowly spreading around and then suddenly explode and the relationship becomes unrepairable/dead.

3) Compromise

Most people tend to make compromises. This time I got my will on what movie to see, and then next time its your turn.  This is usually the safe choice, but it can also leave nobody truly satisfied or give opportunities to move forward.

4) Contending

If you take this style you think more of yourself. You are a bossy type, which can damage  future relationships, because you rarely think of the other person. Your way of communicating is borderline threatening when you are in a conflict and you will do everything to win. Dialogue is off the table, and a debate will continue until you get your will.

5) Problem Solving

This is a good way to try to solve conflicts because it can lead to development and new ideas which might not have been thought of before. If you follow this style you see your own interests, but at the same time you  acknowledge the needs, feeling and wants of the other. This style demands creativity and active listening skills in order to come up with some new common goals. Maybe you together can chose an entierly new movie to see?

Which one of these conflict styles do you identify with?