The next article was written by an active Colombian CISVer who attend a Mosaic Project on 2009, he want to share with our community his point of view within the topic of conflict and resolution:

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Conflicts are something natural in everybody’s life, they can appear in different sizes, environments and whenever one might expect. Depending in the personality of the person involved, he or she can approach conflicts in many ways, some people can react violently, some others let them pass and wait how everything works out and some others can just take a negotiating role.

Knowing about the different approaches that a person can have about a conflict just rises up the question: which one should one choose?

Getting violent is never a good choice because it involves physical, psychological and verbal violence and this can lead to make our problems and relationships worst.

In the other hand, a person can have a very passive attitude to approach conflicts, like letting them pass and waiting for the final result this could be very dangerous, because the person is not having control over the conflict and is taking a lucky shot that regardless the final result, it could have been different if the person had taken part of the conflict.

The missing role a person can acquire is the negotiating role, and it is the one that everybody should take, not only because it gives control over the conflict but also because it keeps better relationships between the parts involved in it. In this point is where it is very important to know how to deal with the other two kinds of roles or personalities.

When not taking a role, the person can acquire a negotiating role, it is the one that everybody should take. Not only because it gives control over the conflict but also because it keeps better relationships between the parts involved. At this point is where it is important to know how to deal with the other two kinds of roles or personalities.

The ideal of this negotiating role is to solve the conflict in the best way possible, trying that the parts involved keep good relationships between them by using the idealistic “win-win” strategy when solving the problem and making that the parts involved are comfortable with the final result, or sometimes the “lose-lose” strategy, where parts must settle down and realize that it is vital to lose to solve the conflict. Until now both “win-win” and “lose-lose” strategies are the best final scenario of a conflict, where the parts involved are in this equal situation and there is no place for jealousy or bad feelings with the result.

The objective of this negotiating role is to solve the conflict in the best way possible, trying that the parts involved keep good relationships between each other by using the idealistic “win-win” strategy, when solving the problem and making that the parts involved comfortable with the final result, or sometimes the “lose-lose” strategy, where parts must settle down and realize that it is vital to lose to solve the conflict. Until now both “win-win” and “lose-lose” strategies are the best final scenario of a conflict, where the parts involved are in this equal situation and there is no place for jealousy or bad feelings with the result.

The results exposed previously are two ideal scenarios, and in most of the conflicts the desire for winning from each part is what triggers bad final relationships, a “win-lose” situation is what they always want to archive, but as a negotiator , it is the worst possible scenario that must always be avoided in such a way that solving conflicts is not a matter of getting rid of the problem but also keeping always good relationships, that in the future, when the conflict is finally over. In some cases not only the good relationships are maintained but sometimes they even be improved.

 

Esteban Ramirez Avendaño

Conflict resolution Mosaic 2009 Arauca